Tuesday, October 9, 2007

What next?

It is difficult to envision our life without him when we lose someone we love so much. It has been 3-months since Bob died and I thought I'd be doing much better by now and that planning a California memorial would be a good thing but that just isn't the case. In many ways I really am doing well, especially since dear Charlie was born, but the feelings of grief and loss are still overwhelming. I still have too many times when my emotions are raw to think of having another memorial service at this time.

Thank you for your sympathy, support, and caring. It helps. It really does.


Sarah said...

Dear Verva: Although we can never feel your pain, ours, though very hurtful, doesn't compare to yours. Just as we all cared about Bob, we care about you, too, and all that you are going through. Time does not heal all wounds as many say; we heal our own wounds, it just takes time to do it. Every tear shows how much you loved Bob and how happy you were with him. We know you're thankful for that. We all go through our own painful events in life, but it helps to know that we have people who love us and are there for us.
I have to tell you, that back some time ago, maybe June or so, I showed Katy's picture to a young co-worker who just learned she was pregnant. She has followed Katy's blog faithfull and has kept me informed on Jelly Bean's progress right through his transformation to Charlie. We have had so much fun with this. I have sent Charlie's pictures to all Bob's high school classmates and we're all tickled with this beautiful child. We know how much Bob would have loved to watch him grow. We also know he IS watching him...;o)
Sarah Bucknam

Wayne Thompson said...

What next? I certainly don't know. But one of these days I'll see you and give you a big hug, Cousin!

Anonymous said...

I, too, miss this wonderful man. I feel your loss and
pain and wish I could make it go away. A day doesn't go by that I don't think of you both. You know there is love all around you -- with friends, family, and
now Charlie. I'm here for you if/when you need me.
Love, Karyn

Steve and Mimi said...

Dear Vera,

We think of you so often. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through....just know that we are here for you and say a prayer for you and Bob. You will heal in your own way and your own time, but your emotions are so raw right now. Just do what is best for you.

What a blessing Charlie must be. I think about what an awesome grandparent Bob would have been and how he is looking down from Heaven enjoying every minute of this blessed event in your lives.

I've tried to call Verva, but phone is disconnected. Hopefully you still have my phone number and email. I would love to talk to you, or get together, if you need to talk. If not, I totally understand.


Anonymous said...


We understand and hope that, in time, some of the pain will lessen.

We'll stay in touch and hope that someday we will meet again when your life is fuller and happier than it is now.

Our thoughts are with you so often.

Bryant & Carol

rindy said...

in my office there are so many memories of bob...signs from his projects; photos; and him laughing how i have my hall door set up so it it closes loudly so that i would know when someone was sneaking up on me...so bob would sneak in another door further down the hall or through the platelet room and scare the - well you know - out of me and goodness knows there is a lot of that.

through my many losses, i have found there are no closures...and there shouldn't be - it should hurt, it should be lonely and it always will be - i still cry over my mom who died when i was 11 and my dad and husband who died over 20 years ago. but i am blessed to have had them for as long as i did and still try and look at what i have left...still wishing they were here with me...

the times are more quiet now and you have time to reflect and feel what you had no time for before. solitude of the heart can be the hardest part of sorrow.

i hope you find comfort in the love and admiration we all have in you and your families willingness to share your life with us...